A Life Lived in Fear is A Life Half Lived

I’m a pretty low maintenance girl. I like getting my eyebrows done and my hair trimmed, but I normally just color on my own to cover the gray hair. I decided that this summer I want to lighten things up so I started looking on Pinterest for ideas and fell in love with this girl’s hair.

Now, obviously my hair isn’t that long, thick, or curly, but the color is gorgeous. So I sent it along to my stylist and she had some great ideas.

I can’t say enough how much I love seeing Kelly Lauren Vlass of Shade Tree Studio. I’ve been going to her for a few years and she’s never done a cut I didn’t like, and I knew she’d figure out how to make the color work for me. She’s got a great design eye (as you can tell by her website!) and I think my favorite part of getting my hair cut is the oil that she makes herself for a scalp massage. Purr.

I really love how the color came out. She used two different colors for highlights and and all over color too. She was great about explaining it to me but I was so tired (obviously from the pictures) that I barely understood, but this girl knows what she’s doing!

I’m so happy with it. I am tired of looking the same in all my photos except for my hair length so I’m glad she gave me something fun. It’s going to be great in the summer because it’s so dang shimmery in the sunlight.

Yay summer and yay Kelly Lauren!

It’s no secret that I love Doctor Who. It’s all over my social media and I’ve probably dropped a few mentions here. But I have not addressed what has taken months of deliberation and arguments (with myself) until now – my top five favorite episodes.

These are not in order, because I would never be able to pick my favorite. It seems I pick the same favorites as everyone else too, but these episodes stand out so much it’s not a surprise. Although, I am surprised I have two 11th Doctor episodes in there since 10th is my Doctor. That said, if you were going to start getting into Who – start with the 9th Doctor (2005) and go in order from there!

The Girl in the Fireplace
This isn’t one of the strongest episodes, but it’s interesting to see that Steven Moffat was the writer. I think I am most taken by Sophia Myles as Madame de Pompadour. She is a strong character who did not wait for the Doctor like Amy did, but lived her life on her own terms. I have to admit though, my favorite thing about this episode besides the twist at the end is one of the quotes. “You and I both know, don’t we, Rose, that the Doctor is worth the monsters.”

Blink
You guys. This episode scared the shit out of me. It’s a rare episode in that is focuses around a guest star, the adorable Carey Mulligan, and the Doctor has a very small part. I like it because it’s almost as if one of us were thrown into a situation where we passed the Doctor but we weren’t lucky enough to be a companion. The way the suspense builds is fantastic and I may or may not have hidden behind the sofa. And am now nervous around stone angels.

Midnight
I thought that I’d be alone in loving this episode but I see it on top lists all the time. This one is also a little different in that Donna, the companion, isn’t really in the episode at all as she’s chillin’ on vacation. The cast of characters is built up as the Doctor decides to meet everyone, and when crisis occurs, reaction overrides the relationships they had just formed. Everyone deals with fear differently and it is human nature that ultimately disappoints the Doctor.

Vincent and the Doctor
Oh, Vincent. I must watch this episode once a month, especially when I want a good cry. Tony Curran I think is Vincent van Gogh reincarnated, and Bill Nighy is hilarious in his cameo. I want to see the Musée d’Orsay. But it’s the emotions that Vincent shows that resonated with me with what I was feeling the first time I saw the episode. It’s the Doctor’s hope at the end that he gives to Amy that doesn’t let me give in to Vincent’s despair. “The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”

The Doctor’s Wife
It can’t be a shock that an episode written by Neil Gaiman would be simply amazing. The set design, costume design, the continuity… And such an amazing story. In a way it’s an episode written for fans and rewards them for staying with the Doctor for so long.

I love visiting Seattle to see my sister and family. It’s usually on a whim, and if I get lucky on airfare. And by lucky I mean cheap. I found a great rate and barely checked with my sister if the days were okay, and she said that one of those nights was a date night. So I invited myself along and I suddenly had a fantastic trip planned.

Having my routine down has really reduced the anxiety I get when traveling. I get the same flight to Seattle (same airline and direct) so I know exactly what to expect. I’m still surprised sometimes that it’s so easy for me to get there since my panic disorder has dominated so many trips. I’ve found TripIt to be SUPER helpful too, because I used to just wad my itinerary in my pocket. Now I wad my phone in my pocket.

My first full day there was pretty casual. Brian graciously took over babysitting duty so Kel and I could shop down at Pike Place Market and catch a showing of The Hunger Games. There’s a couple of stores I always check out and one that I will next time (Lamplight Books) when we can meander. I made my sister stop in H&M because I HAVE TO GO THERE EACH TRIP.

The next day was the more exciting day. I had a Groupon for the Seattle Aquarium, and this was my second time going. The first time we went to the Aquarium my niece was still pretty small so I figured she’d get a lot more out of it this time. She was curious about the diver but didn’t want to touch any of the starfish this time around.

I remembered one of my favorite photos from our first trip so I took another of Kel and her together to compare side by side. She’s growing up so fast! She didn’t want to pose for any other photos, though. She is very good at being three years old.

That evening she was off to the babysitter’s house though, because we went to The Legend of Zelda: Symphony of the Goddesses. This was the date night I was happy to intrude upon because it had a high level of awesome. I got a single ticket, which isn’t a bad thing when you get used to it (and you can get closer seats sometimes!), and I was in a great spot. As I expected, I cried during Ocarina of Time. I am very good at nostalgic crying.

I headed back home the next day. Each trip seems too short and I always say I need to go up for longer amounts of time. I’ll never get bored hanging out with my sister or family.

I wrote up this list as an email for a friend of mine visiting Austin soon, and I thought it sounded like a good blog post. While I haven’t been to EVERY place in Austin, I’ve compiled a list of the vintage shops that I’ve enjoyed exploring!

There are a ton (almost too many) vintage options in Austin. There’s a good list put together by shops in Austin. The vintage stores on Congress will all be amazing to visit if you go off that map. I have never been because they are expensive, but they are super cool.

The ones I like are:

Cream Vintage
This is the one I go to ALL the time since it’s on campus near where I work. I’m sure the downtown one is good too. I love getting tailored dresses from here, which I HIGHLY recommend because its fantastic having a tailored piece. If you’re good at haggling, I’ve talked them down on prices before. The men’s selection is really good too.

Frock On
This one is new so I haven’t been, but it’s down the street from Cream so would make a good stop! There’s a Buffalo Exchange on the way too.

Blue Velvet
I haven’t been to this one in a long time but they have nice stuff. It used to be “the” place to go in Austin before vintage really came back into style; it’s where I went in college.

Big Bertha’s Bargain Basement
This one can be VERY expensive, but they have unique stuff. Some really cool GLAM dresses! There is another one in the same shopping center that I can’t remember the name that specializes in more off the wall stuff. The Highball is there too, so it makes it a good stop for lunch or drinks.

If you want to go old school vintage hunting, I recommend these three that are re-sale where you have to dig and may get lucky to find something awesome:

Texas Thrift Store
This is the cheapest, biggest, and my favorite, but allocate a LOT of time for digging. It’s not sorted very well but they do feature sales every day on a different colored tag.

Goodwill
This is the best one in Austin, which also makes it the busiest. (Note: I didn’t originally mention this, but I’ve heard of good designer finds at the Goodwill in Bee Cave but I haven’t been there.)

Savers
A lot like Goodwill (don’t know if they have Savers everywhere) but I think they are for-profit. This is another one where it takes a lot of time to look but you can find some good stuff. My favorite is the “ethnic” section for some cool jackets and dresses when I get lucky.

If you’re in Austin during the weekends of the City Wide Garage Sale, it tends to be marked up a little but I’ve gotten good little things (jewelry and belts) there. Also good for haggling if you go on Sundays since they want to clear out their stuff. That event is fun anyway for all kinds of things like records or decor. I usually get a coupon on the entrance fee from subscribing to the newsletter.

Did I forget a good one? Let me know in the comments!

If you follow me on Pinterest you’ll notice the vast amount of my pins are fashion. I use it to keep track of outfit ideas for items I already own, or as a guide to get one or two new key pieces.

I pin things I read on fashion blogs more than repinning, and one of my favorite fashion blogs is Bright Side Dweller by Chelsea. I’ve been following her blog for a couple of years and I am entirely jealous of 1) her hair and 2) her ability to look gorgeous in high waist outfits. I wish I could do that!

She recently wore this outfit and I have been dying to wear a vest, so I checked my closet to recreate it. (Big thanks to Sara for taking my pic!)

Shirt: Gap
Vest: Victoria’s Secret (thrifted)
Scarf: I don’t remember!
Necklace: Forever 21
Slacks: Gap
Flats: Merona

It’s hard finding good outfits for work but Chelsea posts some great ideas. While I wish I had her blues or a good patterned scarf, I liked using what I already had in my wardrobe to feel sharp but comfy.

I recently made a trip to Houston to visit a friend of mine. He lives in The Woodlands so the route was different, and a bit longer, but I felt up to the challenge. I decided to take 290 (as usual) to 2920 (not as usual) to get to The Woodlands, and I was using both a printed map from Google Maps and my iPhone to navigate. I borrowed an audio book from the library to make the drive go faster.

As I listened to the audio book and looked for the exit I needed, I felt my anxiety rising. I made the mistake of accidentally getting a scary audio book which I think didn’t help at all, so I turned it off and concentrated on the drive. I followed the map and my phone but felt my anxiety increase as I drove.

When I got to my friend’s house, I tried to relax, but the anxiety hadn’t decreased. After chatting a few minutes I had two panic attacks hit me. I thought that at this point I had gotten past my panic attacks so I was disappointed and worried. I fought the urge to come home, which is what my panic attacks do, and I made my plans for the next day.

I was so glad to follow through on the next day plans because I had been looking forward to it for weeks. I went to the Houston Museum of Natural Science! I always want to go there but I’m way too lazy to make the drive from Austin, so I figured it wouldn’t be bad from The Woodlands. It was no sweat getting downtown and after navigating the weirdness of Hermann Park Drive I made my way in.

Seriously, how was this good planning?

The exhibits are largely the same at the museum, although it seems they are expanding which is awesome. I was disappointed that the planetarium didn’t have a simple “Tonight’s Night Sky” sort of deal but instead a movie on black holes, which was cool and all, but I just like looking at stars. I saw the usual dinosaurs and pendulum, and I tend to ignore the diorama area because the taxidermied animals aren’t interesting to me.

I Googled this image, but you get the idea.

What is interesting to me is the gems exhibits. They have a super cool one right now by Harold Van Pelt where he carved sculptures out of single piece stones. He even did an entire chair. I would go again to see this exhibit.

Quartz skull. The pattern in the necklace is natural. I WANTS IT.

The one that my family always visited was the Cullen Hall of Gems and Minerals. It’s also mostly the same but they did add a drool-worthy vault of jewelry. My favorite is just the gems and minerals though, well lit and beautiful.

My family often went to the Museum and I looked around for the wall to recreate this photo, but I didn’t find it or it’s long gone. Guess which one I am. (Click to embiggen for full 80s effect.)

Afterward I stopped by the gun range where my friend works, and he let me shoot his rifle. I have never wanted a rifle, had interest in a rifle, but after firing my first round of this one I laughed evilly and knew I want this rifle. I’m saving up. A lot of the residual anxiety I’d had went away. He called it “ballistic therapy.” I’m using that from now on.

The rest of the weekend was chill and relaxing, which was great after the panic I’d had. When I got home I realized that while it sucked I had a panic attack, I didn’t do my usual of running away. I went to a new place, stayed with a friend (I usually have to stay in hotels), navigated downtown Houston, and enjoyed myself the entire time. I’m working on giving myself credit and accepting that panic attacks will still happen, and I’m just not going to let them dominate my life anymore.

My wonderful, silly, beautiful Boomer has passed away.

It’s taken me a while to write about this, mostly because I wasn’t sure how much to say, and partly because I’m so sad to say it. My dog has been in chronic kidney failure since she was six months old; at that time, they only gave her three months to live. Six years later I had to say good bye to the best companion I’ve had.

It wasn’t a surprise in coming, but the suddenness was unexpected. I had originally thought that maybe she was slowing down in her old age, but after two weeks of increasing lethargy I knew she wasn’t feeling well.

Boomer never showed when she felt sick. She would only look apologetic, and do her best to act normal, but as she felt crummier I could tell that something was wrong. I took her to the vet who confirmed my suspicions, and I decided it was time to let her go.

My Blue Dog ate my bed sheets, my books, and my clothes. She could leap up six feet catching a Frisbee and she loved chasing a laser at night in the backyard. She knew a ton of tricks but refused (on principle) to heel when we walked. She mastered the staredown that would get me up to let her outside. She hated water with currents but loved to swim. She barked at anyone near the yard but was best friends with everyone who came through the door.

She has done so much for me this past year, easily the hardest year of my life. She listened to me when I ranted, she curled up against me when I cried on the floor, and she’d rest her head on my stomach when I slept on the sofa. I miss Boomer every day and I thank God for the opportunity to have her in my life.

My family started going to the Texas Renaissance Festival since we were little kids. We used to go every year, and as we got older the visits grew less frequent, but I’ve still been many times.

My friends Zach and Amber go multiple times every year so we decided to meet up at the Fest and hang out. I went early to catch the parade, which I never seem to make on time. I knew the turn was tricky and missed it, but fell in love with Siri when she helped me take some ranch roads back to the highway.

It was no surprise to see some of the same stores, shows, and people that have been going as long as I have, which is over 20 years. It’s nice that some things hadn’t changed except that we’re all getting old. This was my first time to have alone time and I enjoyed going at my own pace.

I got my fish and chips, with some ale, and sat down to wait for the parade. There was no way I was going to shell out any cash for a schedule program, especially after the ATM fee raped me, and I assumed they wouldn’t have changed it since it’s always been at noon. My guess was right and I got most of my pictures from the parade.

I ran into this guy, which ended up being my favorite costume I saw all day. Right after I took this picture, a little girl ran up and squeezed him like he was the cutest thing she’d ever seen. I was impressed because at six year olds, he would have terrified me.

Lots of stages have been added, and places that were empty are now packed with shops and vendors. It’s hard to tell who’s working a shop and who’s just hanging out because they look good. There’s a wedding chapel, and I caught the procession.

The jousting arena has changed a lot over the years, and I only stayed a little while to watch. Zach and Amber arrived about this time so I went back to the entrance to meet them.

The Fest gets more and more packed each year – I read that by the afternoon, there were over 30,000 people in attendance. I managed to buy a bracer, a fox tail (what?), and a hairband for my niece by the end of the day. I had a great time with Zach and Amber and I can see why they go often and camp. I’ll consider camping next year since I really hate it, but it would be fun with them. They know how to ren-party.

I got lost again on the way back but I figured it out. I think I owe Siri a present from bartering with her to get me back to the highway.

I’m really bad about going to the store, because I hate it. By the end of the month I don’t have most of the ingredients I need if I’m in the mood to cook. Amazingly, I had everything on hand for these mini-meatballs with pesto. I went with the mini ones so I could shove them in my face. SUPER YUMMY.

Mini-Meatballs with Pesto

Meatballs

1 lb lean ground beef
1/2 cup dry bread crumbs
1/4 cup milk
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1 small chopped onion (about 1/4 cup)
1 large egg

1. Heat oven to 400 degrees.
2. Mix all ingredients in a big bowl. Shape beef mixture into 1 inch meatballs. You can use an ice cream scoop to make it easier.
3. Place in ungreased 13 x 9 inch pan.
4. Bake 15 to 20 minutes, makes 3 dozen appetizers if you want to be fancy and put toothpicks in them.

Pesto

2 cups fresh basil leaves
3/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/4 cup pine nuts (optional)
1/2 cup olive oil
3 cloves garlic

1. Mix together in blender or food processor, or with a fork if you are feeling lazy (like me).
2. Can refrigerate tightly covered up to five days.

Recipe from Betty Crocker.

I thought I’d look for advice this week on two items in my closet that I have been wanting to wear but not quite sure how to pull them off.

The first is a skirt I got from Urban Outfitters. It’s white with adorable pleats and it’s knee length. I have no idea what to do for a top or how dressy to do shoes.

The second is a dress I loved from Cream Vintage that I had altered shorter to knee length and short sleeves. Those guys are great at alterations! I’m stuck with accessories on this dress (does it need any?) and what kind of shoes to wear.

Let me know what you think in the comments! I’ll be sure to post when I wear these items with your suggestions, so feel free to control my (fashion) life!