A Life Lived in Fear is A Life Half Lived

When I was a little girl, my sister and I would spend each summer at my grandmother’s house. At first the thought of spending two weeks without the comforts of home, especially the Nintendo, seemed like an impossibility. But after two weeks with her, we didn’t want to go home.

Part of the summer routine at my grandmother’s was reading. At first I’d tear through all the books I’d brought with me, and then I’d start digging through her bookshelves for anything to read. I discovered Narnia, Sherlock Holmes, and Nancy Drew as my remedy to boredom.

Nancy Drew found a place in my heart from reading those books. My grandmother had row after row of the small bound books in the closet, and I read through all of them. I imagined myself alongside Nancy, scouring a room for clues and getting the bad guy in the end.

Many years later, I was working at Girlstart. I had created a website for girls and wrote video games reviews to encourage girls to start playing. I received a review copy of a Nancy Drew game from Her Interactive, and I was a little hesitant that a game could capture the same sense of wonder I felt at my grandmother’s.

I took the game home to play over the weekend, and much to my husband’s chagrin I played it non stop. I was engrossed in the mystery and kept scribbling in my notebook to solve the puzzles. I was hooked.

I enjoyed playing the games as the years went by as review copies and later started buying them on my own. They became mini-breaks from life for me – a game to play that wasn’t stressful but was rewarding. I learned about barrel racing horses and how to navigate the Paris subway. I often involved my husband because I would get stuck in a puzzle and after a while I would ask him to help me with it. We’d play through it with him always solving it first, and I liked that it was something we could do together.

When I began having problems in my marriage, I bought a two-pack of the Nancy Drew game to keep my mind occupied. I became stuck on a puzzle and I asked him for help. Disinterested, he told me to solve it on my own. After trying over and over, I eventually did, but I was sad I couldn’t share the victory with him.

When my marriage ended, I started noting the small accomplishments of things I was now doing on my own. I had felt before that I needed him to solve those puzzles, but after working at it I found I could do it without him.

I may not face the same situations as Nancy Drew, but I find that I can solve some mysteries as well as she did. Plus, I do have several Georges and Besses in my life that I can call on when I get stuck and need a clue. Now if only I can find a Ned.